The Modern Woman

There are days when my ministry position is an overwhelming blessing, when I am humbled and amazed that the God I serve really has "chosen the foolish things" (1 Cor 1:27).  Then there are days, and I wish they weren't as frequent, when I feel as if I have been given the task of walking a dark cave, one in which no (wo)man has conquered before.  Instead of giving me a light, I have a meer, dim candle to guide me.  This new journey, is an adventure for sure!  I am learning to not only watch my step as I learn how to maneuver around rocks, but also to discover.  Discover, new and exciting passages; to even find a new tunnel, a new way to get to the end. 

That is essentially what I feel the Lord is wanting to do in and through me here at BBC.  To not take what was built by those before me (nor tear it down), but to cast a vision for where BBC Women is heading.  But, where are we heading???  What is our vision?

Up until last week, I thought my lack of vision (or incomplete clarity) was because I didn't have a vision at all, but now I am certain that I do know what the Lord is asking of me, but have been to preoccupied with others opinions and judgements to begin accomplishing it.  How silly!  See, if you spend any time talking to me, you know that I just hate "fluff".  Well, no, not altogether, just the fluff that tends to take over women ministries around world.  I long to "defluff" the church; to take this idea that all women are....
    MOTHERS
                       HOMESCHOOL THEIR 5 CHILDREN
                                                                                      MILL THEIR OWN WHEAT
         SPEND 3 HOURS IN PERSONAL PRAYER
                                                          KEEPS AN IMPECIBLY CLEAN HOUSE
                                        DRESSED TO THE NINES
                      ENJOY SUBMITTING TO THEIR SPOUSE (we are commanded because it's hard!)
                                                          ALWAYS SLOWS DOWN AT A YELLOW LIGHT
 ALWAYS FORGIVES
                                                                                                   ALWAYS LOVES
                              

Does anyone even know this woman?  I have been serving the Lord for 9 years, in a church of 5,000 and in one of 30 and I have yet to ever meet a woman that lines up with the image most women's ministries protray as "the godly woman".  And I know that I am not alone in my struggle to even try and be her.  I have put on that hat, hoping to change.  I bought wheat to mill (true story).  I bought a pasta maker, a bread machine, a whole line of cleaning supplies to kick start my journey into womanhood.  I attended all the women's retreats and glued together little flowers on cards.  I tried. 

See, last week I came across a blog post by Elyse Fitzpatrick, a patriarch of faith and had my "ah ha!" moment.  The title of the blog was "Why most women hate women's conferences".  She quickly described women who don't want to hear "seminars on Napkin Folding while weaving a little quasi-Bible story into it, like how we’re folded into the church".  Also, how we don't need bricks either.  That is to say tips, tricks, laws, rules...how to's.  We lug around backpacks full of bricks all day!  You know what I mean..."4 or 17 or 432 Steps to Become a Better Me".  It's exhausting!

Enough with the fluff.  How many times have you heard someone speak on the Proverbs 31 woman and went away feeling refreshed, as if it was obtainable?  Let me repaint her...  she was NOT perfect.  She was NOT cutesy.  No where does it say she quilted 100 blankets for the homeless (please understand that I LOVE QUILTS...I collect them!) or knew how to formally set a table.  (Salad fork, dinner fork, seafood fork?!) She was all together feminine and all together strong.  Womanhood is not about giving up our courage, our spunk, our practicality.  Proverbs 31 woman was rough, was beautiful, and I guarantee she was exhausted! 

Women, the generations before me and the generations to come are brave.  We want to change the world.  As one blogger put it, "We run marathons for our sisters, not so that we can lose weight. We have more to offer to the church than our mad decorating skills."  Most of all, we want realistic encouters with our God.  True fellowship with women.  A place to find prayer, healing, and support. 

I have heard a million women's studies on basic, easy women's topics.  I have attended events on cooking healthy, staying fit, and how to please my husband.  What I really want is to be challenged.  To wrestle through theology.  Jacob wrestled with the Angel, not letting him go until he blessed him and I refuse to believe that the role of wrestling, of fighting for the blessing, of not letting up until the Lord moves is only for the men.  I want a real encounter with my real God through a real work of the Holy Spirit.  I want to really weep, to really rejoice, to really do life with those around me.

The modern woman is staying single longer.  The modern mother is working part-time, if not full-time (65.5%!).  Regardless if you or I have an opinion on if this is biblical, it doesn't change that this is our society today.  This woman is intelligent and educationally driven.  In fact, 25% more women get college degrees than men.  Compare that with our 1950's woman: housekeeping and motherhood were considered the ideal role and women were becoming both at unprecidented rates.  The average mid-century woman was married by 20...! If I were to place myself in her shoes, I would be begging for someone to teach me how to make a bed, clean my house and host the perfect party too!  And it is not that the modern woman doesn't wish to gleen that same information, however, she isn't there yet.

If I could put myself under a microscope for a minute (this could be dangerous)... I did not marry until I was 26 years old.  In fact, I didn't believe I'd ever marry.  Not because of some low view of myself or fear of the opposite sex.  I was too busy serving the Lord!  It's not that I didn't think a man could love me, but that I did not want to give up my calling, my vision for a man's.  I had never attended a single women's event at my church (this is in New Jersey).  Well, I did once and felt so overwhelmed by the flowers/centerpieces/frills that I never went back.  What I was looking for wasn't there.  I subconsciously wanted someone to stand up and tell me that it's not about me...to give me the honest Good News. And someone did.  She wasn't apart of the women's ministry, but the youth group.  Her and her husband gave me a true glimpse of what it is to survive and THRIVE in my Christian walk.  This man taught me theology, how to evangelize, how to read my Bible.  His wife discipled me, showed me not how to be a wife to a man, but how to be a bride to Christ.  It was real fellowship based on a real connection. 

The women's ministry is on the move, ladies.  It is not moving because the current way doesn't work. It does, but it is only working for 30% of our church.   I am NOT on a soapbox condemning.  I am NOT belittling.  Early on, living in England, I had to quickly learn that things like driving on the left was not wrong, but different.  The same applies here.  What we have done at BBC up until now is not wrong.  Heaven's no.  However, God is wanting to do something different. 

Why?  Because, BBC Women, look around.  Our nursery is literally bursing through the walls.  We have more children than ever before.  (Praise God!!) Where are those moms?  Our 20-30 somethings are not involved in women's ministries.  We are missing them. (Not to mention the single moms who seem to be single-handedly running the nursery!)
 
Think about our teenagers.  They are quickly growing and, having so few interactions with BBC Women, they are not moving right in, but falling completely out.

Think about our singles. Up until this summer there wasn't even a singles group.  The men nor the women were offering anything.

 Titus 2 tells older women to mentor the younger, and that is strongly lacking on both sides.  Young women are not getting that shoulder they need and the older are not using their godly wisdom.  This is the #1 reason for change.  It's time to adapt and follow God's leading.  This means I need you to trust me.  Yes, trust me, a broken sinner.  I know that's scary.  However, God has called me here as He did Esther "for such a time as this".  Things may start looking different, new events, different studies.  Some things will stay the same.  What ministers to a 65 year old may not for a 25 year old.  That doesn't mean we are going to wipe out that 65 year old's ministry and say "get on the bandwagon!"  No, but we do need to facilitate a church where BOTH can come and be ministered to: same building, same roof.

This means everything is under the microscope.  We are going to revisualize how we do ministry.  Who is our target audience?  How can they be reached? Is our goal to encourage, edify and challenge women to live boldly for the Lord? 

What will you see?  First, a BBC Women facelift. 
This means new graphics- modern, clean, and fun.  We are 10 years behind our culture in this department when I think we could be progressive.  Let's be leaders (God is all about creating leaders, is He not?)  This means new ministries.  This means more meaningful encounters with each other.  This also means we we are going to let go of the 1950's housewife image of womanhood and ask the Lord to shape us into world-changers, or at least Phoenix-movers. 

It's women's ministry uncut.  If you have comments or concerns, fears, or excitement...please just talk to me.  I want you to see my heart.  I'm going to shake the boat, and I am sure there are things that I may even fail at, but I do believe, as Pastor Kent reminded me this morning, the results will outweigh the risks.  So, BBC Women, will take this risk with me?

Motherhood

This teaching by Pastor Mark Driscoll has blessed so many of us.

Hope you find it as encouraging!

Motherhood: A blessing and a curse

Practicing Passionate Christianity

Our nation is thought to be the Christian nation by the world and by Americans themselves.  We inscribe Deity on our money, in our anthems, and on our court buildings.  We have The Bible Belt, a church on every corner, Christian radio stations that span the continent.  Our country, most of the time, boasts of its religious superiority.  We have not "given-in" like other nations.  I too thought America to be the last good country with a sliver of morals still left for us to chew on...that is until I left America.

I first visited England when I was 20 years old on a short-term missions trip with my church youth group.  I had not known the privileges I had as an American-Christian till that week.  We walked the streets one Friday night with the hopes of bumping into the local youth who crowded dark corners.  It wasn't hard to find them, as clouds of booze could be smelt long before you arrived before them.  At 13, the police ignored their late night parties and, at most, waved their fingers telling the young kids to just go home.  Would you be as surprised as I was that not a single on of them (about 20 in total) knew what the Gospel was?  The Gospel!  How many times have I heard it?  How many different people have told me?  Not only that, but not a SINGLE one owned or had read the Bible.  They hardly new what it was about.

I did pity them.  I shared with joy this news and prayed that for many, upon realizing that the Gospel was a much theirs as it was the disciples, they would remember that night when its sweet honey first touched their ears.  Pity?  At that time, yes.

A year later I returned to the streets of York, but this time it was to attend Calvary Chapel Bible College.  Two and a half years later it was I that needed the pity.  I had seen the lack of a church on every corner and a Bible in every house as sad.  (I do pray for it, but differently than I first did).  When one of those souls comes to Christ it is the most moving and beautiful moments ever to behold.  There is no alternative: you are for Him or against Him.  They do not have a Christian radio station, just Christ.  They do not have a Christian coffee house, just the Lord among the world.  They do not have 30 churches to choose between.  They cannot church hop as they find the one with the "coolest" music or the pastor who speaks the best.  The form of Christianity that this births is raw and real.

Americans are boisterous and most will tell you their life story if you ask.  However, ask anyone this simple question, "How are you?" and you will get the vague answer, "Good."  When it comes to our spiritual lives we are hidden.  We hide behind a curtain of spiritual greatness afraid to show others that Christianity is a struggle, a battle of flesh and Spirit.  Is that not true?

I experienced "reverse culture shock" when I came back to America for Christmas.  I had become accustom to being in want that I forgot that I was raised in a country that seems to never lack.  A friend at the time gave a sermon on Practical Atheism and it is a thought that stuck with me, especially in light of what I was experiencing at that time.  The common phrase, "The devil is in the details" can be all too true.  What is practical atheism?  In his book, Atheism: The Case Against God, George Smith writes:
"Practical atheists 'believe that they believe in God (and...perhaps believe in Him in their brains but...in reality deny His existence by each on of their deeds.')"

England's hinderance to the Gospel is there is no one to share the Gospel.  The country that once sent out great missionaries such as George Muller and the Wesley brothers now is in need of missionaries themselves.  In contrast, America's hinderance is that we know the Gospel.  It has become so common that many have justified a life that includes faith and folly (I am no exception).  We smile and quote scripture, but when it comes down to the practical, such as that electric bill or our prayer life, God gets the scraps.  Tithing is done in prosperity, prayer when we have no other options.  Practically, God gets the last mention.  That is, unless we are at church.  Then the mask is neatly placed and the attitude is nothing but smiles.

What about your life?  Examine, reader.  I'm not asking you to account for the bible studies you're involve, but your practical daily routine.  When you are at the grocery store or looking for something to watch on t.v.?  The websites you find yourself on? (Focus on the Family found, in their study, that 38% of women have intentionally looked for pornography).

Christ did not call us to mediocrity.  As imitators of Christ we are to live the same passionate life.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:1. "Imitate me as I imitate Christ."  But, then in 1 Corinthians 4:16 he simply says, "Imitate me".  No "as I imitate".  It fascinates me that Paul's life was such an example that it was a given that you'd end up looking a lot like Jesus if you emulated Paul's own life.  What is stopping me from being passionate about my faith?  It's time we get real, that our lives become a raw example of what it means to be a follower of Christ.  The freedom in that is it's not easy!  I can let go of my need to always be perfect (Christianity is about striving for Perfection not about pretending we have already obtained it), or to always have the answers.  Practical Atheism attempts to HIDE.  Practical Christianity attempts to be OPEN.  This doesn't mean spewing your garbage to everyone that asks, "how are you", but not shielding yourself to the option of allowing those around you a chance to minister to you.  Isn't that one of the paradoxes of our faith?  When we are weak He is strong.

Have you allowed the devil to creep into the details?
What practical changes can you make in your life to more correctly display your faith in Christ?

Read Romans 12:1-3.  Can you see the balance of "passionate" and "practical" in that verse?